Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Yes, My Lady: Successful Session with the Professional Dominant

Welcome to the final part of the client etiquette guide to Professional Dominance. In My previous column, I addressed some very basic concepts of telephone etiquette for contacting a Professional Dominant. While proper first contact with the Professional Mistress may secure a session with Her, many Professional Dominas deny clients a second session simply because they do not practice or respect proper session protocol. While some Professional Dominants may train uncertain novices or disrespectful seasoned players on how to behave correctly during a session, most Dominas do not train clients on how to consume their services correctly; how to be a good client. In light of this, I see as part of my duty as a Professional Domina and a Columnist for Bondage.com to outline general session protocol for My readers, who are always potential clients! What follows is both for the novice and the ignorant seasoned player who desire to have their play with a Professional Dominatrix be as successful as possible.

Time is money. My submissive's shrink has a new cancellation policy. In addition to the requisite 24 hours' notice, if the therapist cannot fill My sub's time slot, My sub still has to pay for it. Imagine if Professional Dominants could demand the same. Professional Dominants' biggest complaint about clients is their unreliability. If you are not planning to keep an appointment, call and cancel, just as you would do with your favorite restaurant. This is basic consideration for other people's time. If you can afford a session, you can afford a one-minute telephone call to cancel or reschedule.

Be on time with both your confirmation and your appointment. If you are going to be delayed or need to postpone, then let Her know as soon as possible. Even if She is disappointed, She will appreciate your call.

Use discretion in the Professional Dominant's neighborhood. Do not show up at the door in full drag unless She has given you permission to do so. She may live where She works and Her neighbors may not be too keen to have Her business shoved in their faces. It very well may endanger Her livelihood.

Show up in good condition. Have some Gatorade and a light meal before your scene (especially if you are doing bondage or edge play). However, if you have asked the Professional Dominant to suspend you, particularly upside down by your ankles, then it's best not to eat before your session. Do not drink alcohol or do drugs as neither mix well with safe, sane SM. Furthermore, shower before your session. The astute Professional Domina will always notice a clean, fresh smelling client. And, She will appreciate it.

Come mentally prepared. Be ready to submit. I suggest to My clients that they meditate before entering My realm so that they're calm, focused, and centered. A mentally present slave who listens, pays attention, and immediately obeys orders will ultimately be rewarded.

Have the exact amount of agreed upon tribute in cash, ready, and available before the session begins. Do not even attempt to cheat Her by showing up with less than the agreed upon tribute. This is a sure way to be asked to leave and never spoken to again. Plus, it's just plain rude.

Tipping is customary. Professional Dominants share a common belief: The best clients tip. You can apply the 20 percent rule here.

Be respectful of the Professional Dominant's equipment, fetish wear, and space, be it in a dungeon, fantasy room or domestic room. SM equipment and fetish gear are very costly. Undoubtedly, it took Her a long time and a lot of finance to accumulate. If you do accidentally break something, be prepared to replace it.

Do not expect fantasy and reality to be the same. They rarely are. Open yourself up to a new and wonderful experience. Enjoy the unexpected. That is to say, do not get caught up in your cock, if you have one. Realize that the beauty of SM is that it moves on many levels and in many directions: it affects your intellect, your entire body, your heart, your imagination, and is truly multidimensional. Do not limit its magic to your groin.

Finally, let go, trust, and allow the Professional Dominant to be in charge. This is your opportunity to let go of all the roles you maintain in the "real" world and let someone else run the show. It's a lot like going on a roller coaster; you just have to loosen up and allow your mind and body to be taken in all sorts of directions for a set period of time. Your external responsibilities are lifted; you get to interact in very sacred and profound ways. Use this opportunity to explore new and hidden parts of yourself.

Be sure to thank the Professional Dominant after your scene. Tell Her specifically why you are thanking Her, how enjoyable it was for you, and what you really liked. Let this be a time of closure where you give back your appreciation and gratitude for all the energy and attention She gave you during your time together.

I leave you with some food for thought: Business versus romance. Understand that Professional Domination is a business transaction that can be mutually pleasurable, but it's not a date or romantic encounter. Do not ask the Professional Dominant too many personal questions. Moreover, do not say 'I love you.' She does not want to hear that.

In conclusion, respect the Professional Dominant. Just because you are paying for a SM session does not mean that you treat the Professional Dominant any differently than you would any other woman. Show Her respect the way you would show any person respect. Matter of fact, show Her more respect because She's providing something so powerful that clients pay hundreds of dollars to submit to Her and the State attempts to police Her. Providing the services of Professional Dominance is a labor of love. Do the right thing and follow My guide to client etiquette to contacting a Professional Domina and proper session protocol.

No comments: