Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Yes, My Lady: Client Privilege

Imagine creating a career where you are rewarded love, honesty, passion, and energy because of an amazing client. Imagine finding work so fulfilling, because of the client, that you feel purpose in life, respected, and valued. Now, imagine being that one special client who gives this gift to the professional. Well, then, allow Me to introduce you to Ma'am B.

Ma'am B first gained My attention at a workshop on Slave Training held by QSM ( and taught by Mistress Celeste of San Francisco ( There, Ma'am B sat proud in the front row with Her slave sitting quietly at hand. I did not know who She and Her slave were at the time. I, trying to pass as My personal persona, sat quietly in the back row. I went to support My friend, Mistress Celeste, but ended up more intrigued with what seemed to be this troubled couple in the front row. You could tell that this couple had been in the scene for quite some time: everyone at the workshop felt familiar with their presence...and it seemed their problems.

With a frustrated tone, the female partner of the couple and obviously the Top, implored with Mistress Celeste about how to get Her slave to submit...the way She wanted him to submit. Moving to the edge of Her seat, She explained as if she had already a hundred times the problems with their relationship, with their Dominance Submission. Before She could complete Her sentence, however, the male partner of the couple and obviously the bottom, interrupted Her. Silence seemed to have filled the room. Point-at-hand, his behavior spoke louder than Her words. One could immediately tell that he was not submitting the way that he should...the way that She wanted him to submit. I remember feeling compassion for the couple, as I could identify that they truly were trying to get it right. Unfortunately, sometimes Tops and bottoms end up in a power struggle instead of a power exchange. I also remember thinking that if someone could just help them, they might gain success. I smiled to Myself arrogantly and thought that someone could be Me.

Months later when teaching a class on Domestic Discipline sponsored by the Society of Janus ( in San Francisco, I crossed paths with this couple again. There they were, sitting in the front row, quiet, proud, and attentive. I could not help but notice them in this sort-of-interruptive way: while in the middle of lecturing, I walked by them and felt a presence pull Me to stop. I lost My train of thought just looking at them. It was as if I knew then that they were to enter My life somehow. I went on with My lecture, using them as an example and attempted to let their presence fade to the background...for the time being.

Then, one day, in My voicemail box, I heard a voice that sounded pleasantly familiar. It was a woman who explained that she had been to My Domestic Discipline class and she and her partner decided to reach out to Me for help. Before she could finish explaining the problem with which they needed help, I knew it was Her, Ma'am B.

I was so excited to gain the opportunity to assist this couple. My mind filled with ideas and assignments with which I could give them to smooth out their tension. I felt so proud and honored that they had chosen Me out of all the other Professional Dominants in the Bay Area. I could not wait to share with them everything they needed to know. Boy, was I in for a surprise!

For our first gathering, Ma'am B and her partner decided that she should go alone. Both nervous and excited, I met with the longhaired woman. She wore black and Her nails red. Her personality came off so brilliantly, strong and resilient. I could tell that she had left a trail behind in life. She spoke urgently and resolutely about what she saw as the problems with Her relationship. Impregnable, she was able to share deeply while remaining guarded -- and fooled Me into believing that She was somehow being vulnerable. I felt pulled toward Her. She had captivated both My mind and spirit.

What began to appear as a couple wanting counseling ended up as a passionate, willing woman whom truly needed another woman to listen to Her. Granted, She needed a trained, Dominant woman who would know how to guide Her, but She still needed a woman. In this world of hostility toward woman and great sexism, it is very difficult for women to reach out and share with one another. It is especially difficult to realize our potential and share with one another what we have to offer.

Moreover, I star in a theatre where the other players 99% of the time are men. When there is another woman present, she usually plays the role of trainee, the other Dominant, or the other submissive. Rarely do I get to train or dominate a woman alone. Men are significantly present and the majority of the time they want something more from Me than I am willing to give. Sometimes, I am left drained emotionally and spiritually. Many women in My field leave spent, exhausted.

However, once in a blue moon, a shining star comes along, whom without you even realizing it, they enter your spirit and shine. It was if one day I turned around and She was there. And, I noticed it. For every ounce of energy and piece of knowledge that I give and share with Ma'am B, She gives it right back. She gives in this beautifully still, generous way. Seeping in with great respect, Ma'am B leaves Me feeling valued and energetic. I have no doubt that I am doing great work with Her.

Clients like Ma'am B make all the work of Professional Dominance worth it. And, it is only within Professional Dominance where a woman like Ma'am B could reach out and hire a woman like Me.

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