Monday, March 19, 2007

Yes, My Lady: A New Slave

When I start training a new slave, I usually begin with a collaring ritual, no matter what identity or role the bottom occupies. I hold a very large Domain that can contain many types of subjects. Therefore, I seek to make the collar suit the subject: for the slave, a heavy chain collar. The collaring ritual is the ultimate symbol of the Dominance/Submission agreement. It enacts and fortifies the agreement between Mistress and slave. Place the collar ceremoniously around the slave's neck when you commence playing to denote that s/he is yours to command and will remain that way until you remove the collar.

Before I collar anyone, I ask the subject to kneel before Me in the most graceful and/or submissive position s/he can imagine. After I take time to appreciate the position, whose offering tells Me a lot about the subject, I put the subject in the position that I find most pleasing and appropriate. I then ask what the person thinks it means to wear a collar. After I consider the response, I speak of what it means to Me, and thus now, as well to the subject. I tailor My collaring ritual to each subject, and once in place, it's the same every time. The ritual starts by Me asking the subject to tell what it means to wear My collar. Over time, I expect the slave to memorize My collaring ritual:

1) Wearing The Mistress's collar is a symbol of the slave's submission and our agreement. It doesn't make the slave submissive, as submission is a voluntary gift. It doesn't automatically mean that The Mistress owns the slave.

2) While wearing The Mistress's collar, the slave is to listen to The Mistress and to obey The Mistress to the best of her/his ability.

3) The slave will do as s/he is told to please and to serve The Mistress without hesitation.

4) If The Mistress is not pleased, the slave will accept graciously and with humility any consequences, training, and/or punishment The Mistress deems appropriate, and the slave trusts The Mistress to be appropriate.

5) While the slave is wearing The Mistress's collar, The Mistress is responsible for the slave, and will do Her best to make sure that no harm befalls the slave.

6) Only The Mistress can remove the collar.

After completing this portion of the ritual, I ask if there are any questions. I address each question, tailor the ritual, and then ask if the subject can abide by My rules. If the answer is yes, as it by this time most always is, I place the collar around the subject's neck as s/he kneels before Me.

I find, with most subjects, that doing this ritual every time we play sets the stage and the tone for our interactions. At the end of the scene, I usually return to our starting position and remove the collar.

While the actual training of a slave encompasses the total person, the sine qua non of a service-oriented submissive is the correct attitude. All slaves should cultivate an attitude of attentiveness. For our purposes, attentiveness may be defined as an overarching awareness of one's person, surroundings, and circumstances. A slave must cultivate self-awareness, and under tutelage, awareness of My needs and wishes. Furthermore, a slave should place The Mistress' needs before her/his own.

I require slaves-in-training to keep a written record of their thoughts, fantasies, and experiences. The journal is the property of the submissive but the Dominant may read the journal. Thus, I require the slave addresses the journal directly to Me and follows special written forms.

For example, I require slaves to use the lower case when referring to themselves and to capitalize all references to Me: "Mistress, i am writing this journal as You requested. i hope it meets with Your approval." I find the use of the possessive in reference to Me highly offensive, as The Mistress doesn't belong to the slave. I feel it's more appropriate for a slave to speak of "The Mistress" than of "my Mistress." Holding this pattern encourages awareness of the slave's position in relation to The Mistress. I order the slave to make entries in the journal on a regular basis (once a week is useful). Occasionally, I respond to the entries and expect the slave to note My response.

While in service, I demand use the honorific of "Mistress" when addressing Me. A slave should use it every time s/he addresses The Mistress. I note and correct omissions.

It's inevitable that at some point in training, a slave will make a mistake. If the point of the punishment is correction, then the rule should be, "Let the punishment fit the crime." In general, I punish more severely errors that indicate lack of consideration for The Mistress or behavior that runs counter to the agreed-upon code of ethics for the slave than simple physical mistakes. Errors of the former sort include the following: neglecting proper forms of address, disobeying direct commands, gossiping, arrogance, tardiness, failure to complete a training assignment, disrespect of any kind. I don't tolerate these errors, they are a sign of disrespect to The Mistress.

In conclusion, sharing My protocol for training a new slave serves as an introduction. Many of you have requested guidance on how to begin D/S training. Many of you want to know what I, specifically, expect of a slave. Do note that undertaking the training of a new slave is timely and can be frustrating, if not exhausting. Whatever the reasons why you desire to train and hold a slave, take time in your selection of a new slave. During negotiations, you should have a clear indication if the new slave will be able to fulfill The Mistress's needs before you begin training. The reward in training, while in the act itself given the intimacy and trust that it affords, is often not met until the slave no longer needs training. Great joy can be found in the day when the slave fulfills tasks independently, automatically, and correctly.

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